Posts Tagged ‘Prayer/Faith’

Posted on February 5, 2009 - by Andy McMahon

What Can(t) I say?

I cussed.  

I’m sorry. 

I’m not really sorry for cussing.  Because I would spend a lot of time apologizing.  I do try really hard to watch my mouth, but that’s my struggle.

With that said, what I am sorry for is that some people communicated to me yesterday that they now question my faith.  I’m sorry for that.  I’m sorry that we live in a society where we question one’s faith because of one word, or because of their middle name.  All the while lobbying to get all of these Mexicans out of ‘our’ country.  All this time, supporting a war that has thousands dying.  All this time, we cover our own sin and find one that is ‘worse’.  I’m sorry that the world is like that.  

Tony Campolo said, First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition.  Second, most of you don’t give a shit. What’s worse is that you’re more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.

I do pray every night that the world won’t be like that, and I do believe that there can be something done about it.  That’s another blog.  Today, I am writing to only say, I’m sorry my language worries you enough to question my relationship with Jesus Christ.  

I write today to assure that Jesus Christ is and always will be my Saviour, and I believe he can forgive me for my language.  As he can forgive you for your ___________ (Fill in the blank)  

Instead of pointing fingers at eachother, let’s pray for each other.  Instead of pointing fingers, and ‘de-Christianizing’.  Let’s hold each other accountable with love.  Instead of anger and nitpicking, let’s love and hold up.  

Jesus died for my profanity, just as he died for your porn addiction, or your alcoholism, or your failing marriage.  Jesus loves us all.  

Lord, Forgive me.  You know my heart, and more so, you know my struggles.  I don’t want to justify my actions, only beg for your forgiveness.  God, I am a human.  A broken broken human.  I try.  Help me love people.  Help people love me.  Lord, most importantly, help us all love You.  We are a broken people and the only way for us to truly live is with Your love.  Give it to us Jesus.  Please.  

   – Amen

Posted on October 18, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

In Awe of God

Five years ago, my sister died in a crazy freak car accident.  Five years ago, my best friend overdosed at my house, on my couch.  Five years ago, I had just gotten out of Fulton County Jail, or Rice Street, not the nicest place in the world.  Three years ago my mother died.  This whole time I was fighting off addictions, jobs, bills, evictions, and everything in between.

Tonight, I stood in the kitchen of my apartment. (And andrea’s but for the impact of this blog, I’m calling it mine.)  We had her mother over for dinner.  It hit me.  God has rocked my world.  When I was in Rice Street, I toyed with the idea of becoming a Christian, but once I was free I was quick to stop asking God to move my heart.  I think it was too late.  The seed had been planted.

I have an apartment in my name.  I have a job that isn’t half bad. (Most of the time.)  I have a job that isn’t pouring drinks for alcoholics while their lives crumble around them. I have a beautiful, strong willed, huge hearted fiance, I DO NOT have a drug habit.  I have credit that is close to repaired, and creditors haven’t called me in quite some time.  I have a great life.  I don’t think I have ever said that with 100% conviction.

Can I just say:

God.  I LOVE YOU! You took me and shook me up.  You watched while I nearly destroyed my life, and when I was on my last string, (Or past my last string 4 times) You picked me up just enough for me to learn how to fly on my own.  God.  You have used every resource possible to teach me, and build me up.  You watched, I can only imagine in pain and sorrow, as I used every resouce I had to forget, and tear myself down.  You watched my heart stop, on 4 different occasions, and gave me another chance time and time again.  God.  You rock.  You more than rock.  You ARE my Rock!  WIthout You, I am only a screw up, with You, well. I’m still a screw up, but there is something more.  Something that keeps me going.  Something inside of me, that makes me stop a second sooner than I used to.  That 1 second is the difference.

Jesus God.  Wow.  I am awe struck by You.  I don’t know how to say it… or if it means much but, Thank You for loving me.  Thank You for teaching me, in all of my imperfections.  Thank You for being steadfast.  I LOVE YOU GOD!

AMEN

Posted on October 9, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

Hey Hey. Checkpoint!

So.  I’m working on a lot of great things lately.  I feel a little overwhelmed at work, and after work, I have so much going on, that I haven’t had much time around here.

I can say, God is working in a million ways in my life alone.  I have a million things to be grateful for.  I have a million eye openers each day.  Let me tell you.  God will open your eyes.  Whew.

Anyway.  I want to sit down, read a couple of chapters from “The Book”, and write about what it speaks to me.  I also want to write in a real journal, sometimes that’s refreshing.  Of course, that will all end up here.  So don’t leave me!

I will also be going to see “Call and Response”. This movie needs viewers!  Take anyone and everyone you know.  All of the proceeds go to stop child sex slavery/trafficking.  You might not know, Atlanta is the number 1 city in America, and number 13 in the World, for Child sex slavery.  **Barf!**  We need to bring awareness, prayer, and support to causes like this.

Until then, be in prayer for prayer requests on this blog, and all around the world.  We need to let our light shine now more than ever!  Don’t just sit there.  Do Something.

Posted on October 4, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

How can I pray for you?

How can I pray for you?  I want this blog to be more than me just talking about stuff.  I want it to be interactive.  I want you to express your needs.  I want to pray for you.  I want to set aside a time where I do nothing but pray for requests heard here.  Let me know what you want me to pray about!

Just comment right here, comment anonymously if you need to.  Just let me pray for you.

Thanks.

Posted on September 26, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

My Cup Runneth Over, so we’re cool.

I try to write about encounters I have had in my life that have shaped me.  Good and bad.  I try to reflect on them.  In the process I make myself very vulnerable.  I put a lot of my life out here for a lot of people to read.  It’s pretty insane.  But my goal is for people to see the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ.

I have thought a lot lately about the Crucifixion.  That is the most intense thing to think about.  If you ever feel comfortable in your skin think about, I mean, REALLY think about it.  It will make your heart swell.  Wednesday night we read the prayer Jesus prayed the night before his Crucifixion.

Luke 22:42
“Father, if your will, please take this cup from me. But, not my wish, do it according to your will,”

How much would I really love to pray that prayer?  I am so good at “Father, Please take this cup from me.”  That’s normally where my prayer ends.  If I say “Your will be done.” I normally in the back of my mind am saying, “Only if your will is what i want.”

Did you read that!?  I’m serious!  That’s how my head works.  I want what I want, not what I need.  I want the newest tool. (iPhone) I want the biggest juiciest steak, (not my daily bread).  Your will be done?  Come on, who am I kidding.  I have rarely lived that life.

I am envious of the people who do.  I am also envious of the people who have the gadgets, and steak, and straight teeth, and a full head of hair, and no acne, and a lot of money, and a cushier job.  I’m envious in my vain.  Ya dig? I want to thank God all of the time. It’s hard.  It’s hard to thank God for the bad junk.  At least we have junk, right?  I want to thank God for the half empty cup. Heck. I want to thank God for the empty cup.

But, I only thank God when my cup runneth over. **sigh**

I have issues.  I want you all to pray with me.

God. I love You.  You really are amazing.  God, today I ask that your will is for me to want your will.  God, I want to be the grateful man with nothing.  I want to be grateful in your will.. Your Will God! God, I want to build myself up, to be a better man.  God, I want my crisis to become celebration.  I want to be happy for the empty cup.  Jesus, your blood washed my sins away, and I’m asking again.  God, Cleanse me of my horrible selfish attitude.  God, you are Great.
In the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.

With that said, I am going to go, pray that prayer a few more times.

Posted on September 15, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

I’ve got friends in low places.

Growing up, I had a group of friends that I would constitute as my “best friends”.  I met Matthew in kindergarten, under the parachute, he was about 8 feet taller than me, he walked up to me and said, “You are my best friend now.”  He was so big, I was not going to say no!  So, a friendship started.

In third grade, I met “Bobby”. (This name is protected)  I viewed him almost as a rival.  He was just as, if not more, dorky than me.  And almost as funny.  I also met Scott.   This kid was about as tall as Matthew , he was in the lunch room, and he was seeing how many chocolate milks he could drink.  I think he was somewhere around 15, and he vomited 100% pure chocolate milk all over the lunch room.  I knew we would be friends.

In fourth grade, Omar moved into my neighborhood.  He was my first “Black Friend”.  He was faster than me, better at sports than me, funnier than me, and had (has) a heart the size of Texas.  He lived in the neighbor hood with me an Matthew M.  So, we went EVERYWHERE together.

Matthew passed away five years ago on my living room couch, of a drug overdose.  He had struggled with alcohol addiction, and had come so far.  One relapse, he decided to try Cocaine, and then took pain killers to get to sleep.  Matthew was my very best friend.  I miss him terribly.

Scott told me the second day I knew him, “When I grow up, I want to be a tattoo artist.”  No joke.  I’m serious.  Through some hard times, and a lot of partying, Scott, two months ago officially became a tattoo artist.  Now that is dedication.  He is still new, but his work is really good, and I am so proud of him for making it through the rough.

Omar, his twin sister, and I are the surviving memebers of the neigborhood crew.  Most every other kid in our neighborhood died between the ages of 18 and 20.  It was rough for us, and Matthew dying was especially rough.  I think it affects him more than he will ever admit.  He works a lot, which is understandable.  It’s not that he needs the money, but hardwork keeps the mind busy, so not to distract with sad thoughts, and memories of friends, come and gone.  I miss Omar, he is rarely around, but when he is, we pick up right where we left off, and our friendship will never die.  I wish I could see him more.

Bobby.  ahh. Bobby.  We have gone through so much together.  On my 22nd birthday, I hadn’t seen him in years.  I was living at a bar, literally, because I had no where else to go.  He wandered in that night, saw the spot I was in, and immediately, packed his car with my stuff, took me to his house, and let me live there.  We both had our problems, and my addiction became the source of everything crazy.  I moved out, and back in with my dad when my mom died and we split paths.

He works in the bar scene.  He’s addicted.  I went to see him Friday.  I cried.  I literally cried, right there in the middle of the bar.  I miss my friend.  I hate seeing him like that.  There is nothing I can say to make him see it differently.  I feel hopeless.  I feel like I am watching him go down a path I have been down, and I can’t get him to turn off of that path.  There is nothing I can do.  He weighs, no more than 100 lbs. now.  His eyes are pupils.  that’s it, just pupils.  He forgets what he is talking about.  He is not my old friend, he is just a zombie.  It kills me.

Lord I pray that You will reach down and lay a hand on “Bobby”.  He needs you.  He is hurting and there is nothing I can do.  Something needs to happen.  Something needs to save him.  That something is You Lord.  I know anything is possible through You, and I pray You can make the possible a reality.  I pray You reach all of my friends, God, and show them Your intense, insane, undying Love.  I love you God,  Please, please help them.

-Amen

Posted on August 30, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

Prayer, God, and Weekly Update.

It has been a crazy week.  A really crazy week.  But now that it is almost said and done, I can honestly say, God is amazing!  I don’t know what is going on in my heart exactly but I do know that God is moving me.  I feel so alive lately!  The works in my life are great.  I can see myself growing, and I can tell I am being equipped for something huge.  Something Earth changing.  I feel it.

The hurt we have all gone through this week is real, but through it all, God shined in and said, “Here I am.  Believe in me.  Here’s that sign you’ve been looking for!”  Amazing. 

Nothing deep today.  I don’t need to think or question anything.  It’s clear as day.  God is rockin’ and rollin’ my life.  Whew.  The feeling is great. 

To top it off, I believe that all of the compassion children that we have posted have been sponsored.  Thank you all!  That’s just great.  I will post something more in depth Monday.  (I try to take Sunday’s off.  You know…) So, check back Monday to see what is going on in my life.

God I love you, I beg you to keep pouring down your blessings on me and my family.  God, touch anyone reading this who needs you, whether they know it or not.  God, You are The Almighty, and I praise You!  I want to work for You, I want my life to be Christ-Centric.  Help me with my struggles, help me with my future, help me with my reactions.  God, help us all!  Jesus, we love You. 

Amen!

Posted on August 28, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

Man of the House.

The past few days have been very difficult.  To see my fiance hurt like she is hurting, kills me.  I don’t like it.  But, the last few days have been eye opening for me.  For the first time in my life, I have faith in my ability to be strong.  I have been able to stand by her side, and tell her honestly, everything will be ok.  I have been able to make her smile when she needed to smile, and through even my hurt, I have been able to protect her,  and see her through this.

I’m not bragging on myself. What I am saying is, I have NEVER felt God was moving in me so much.  See, I laid a prayer down for God before I proposed.  I asked him to carry me.  I told him I was letting my guard down.  It’s not that I didn’t trust him before, but there were spaces that were mine.  I didn’t want him involved.  I liked that when I was sad, I could pray, and when I was about to eat he’d bless my food.  I didn’t want him fiddling in my business though.  I didn’t want him hearing my deepest fears, or “not-so-holy thoughts”.

I didn’t feel complete.

Before I got engaged, I said, “God, I have never been a stellar family guy, probably because I have never been in a stellar family, or home situation.  I don’t know how to stand by someone. (I’ve never had to.) The only thing I know how to do is run.  Lord.  Teach me how to not run.  Teach me how to be supportive, teach me how to be a Man.”

It was one of the first times I remember not even thinking something like, “God, I did this, so you really need to do this” or, “If I do this, will you do this?”.  And he delivered!  He made me a man.  He made me someone who can be supportive, and understanding.  He made me everything I was missing in my house growing up.  He made me Love.

It’s crazy.  Over the last few months I have formed healthy, male relationships. (some online, and some off) and I feel like I have a support system, people I can talk to, People to hold me accountable.  Most importantly, people who will tell me the truth. (whether I like it or not.)

I love to say that all of this change is because of my deep love for Andrea.  Which is true.  It sparked the fear that sparked the prayer that asked for the change, but the reality of it is, God made the change, I just had to be willing.  I just had to reach up, and ask.  He loves us so much.  Do you grasp that?  I know I don’t.

What have you been unwilling to pray for, but when you did it was the best thing that has ever happened to you?

Posted on August 25, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

Prayer Request

Hi guys.  Today, I am logging on for one reason.  My Future family is hurting.  We absolutely need your prayers.  We are weak, and confused.  I might not be around for a few days, but please, if you have a prayer list at your church, or a circle of close friends you pray with, please lift this family up to the Lord.  Pray for miracles, God’s will, and strength.  To know more about what is going on, please go over to Andrea’s Blog and check it out.  I don’t feel right typing it all out right now.

Thank you guys!  So So Much.

Posted on August 12, 2008 - by Andy McMahon

Remember.

I have only been posting on this site for a little while now.  I still have to sit down and think, Why did I start writing here?  What was my objective?  Did I have one? and the answer is simple.

I did start writing here with an objective.  I want to share my life in hopes that somewhere, somehow I can touch the lives of a hurting soul that can relate to me.  I want people who are broken, lost or lonely to find this, and feel some inkling of hope.  I believe that any encounter can be a positive one, and I want others to see that.

I also want to write about the love of Jesus.  The everlasting, unmeasurable love of Jesus, that I have been a living testament to.  I am not always good at putting that into words.  But I believe that for most of us, it is even more difficult to put that into actions.  I hope this site will help me, personally do both.

God has guided me through some tough times.  I have made it, sometimes a little roughed up, sometimes I made it just as I didn’t think I could take another step, but I have made it, and each experience has made me stronger, and I have learned more than I could ever hope to know.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see stories, I see hope, I see Jesus.  There is no way I could have made it this far without him.  I have stories, CRAZY stories, and I will share them, in hopes of letting people have an encounter that they truly need.

Have you had an encounter that has truly changed your life?  Please share!